I have always had a passion for writing (and reading for that matter). Blogs have opened a new world to me. I just don't know where to start. COME ON - other bloggers! Please tell me you share or at least recognize some of my difficulties?!
I mean, how honest can a person really be? REALLY be? Everyone say (including myself) that the blog-world is a wonderful thing, but the blogs I read, however well written and really good they are, are almost always impersonal. They are usually about others (about who was killed, who won the election, about a journalist who said..., about a man who did whatever) and seldom about the person him- or herself. Unless of course the blogger is an anon.
Sure you are free to blog about whatever you like, and maybe I have just not reached the world of personal blogs. Or is it that it is really not that interesting to know that for example Imaan endured endless arguments with her husband in the spring of 2006? Or are we just too shy, too private? Don't we dare?
Or is it just too trivial? There are so many things that happen to me, that I see or hear or experience, that might seem important to me in the moment but when it comes to writing it down I get suspicious. Would "the world" really benefit from reading my perhaps silly little stories (and I'm honestly not just saying that so my "friends" in here have to compliment me). And I wonder, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Aaaah, the human mind....
In my head it goes like: What's the point of blogging if it is not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Then it goes: Yeah, but... truth or dare? Do I (and do you?) really dare to tell the truth or do we prefer to describe the truths of others? As we see it? And is that even The Truth? And finally: Is the truth really what we want? Isn't almost everyone of us trying to escape the truth (like when people ask you "Hi, how are you?" we answer "Fine, thank you" however shitty we may feel). Is it like in the Cruise/Nicholson-movie when Tom Criuse's character say "I want the truth!" and Nicholson's character answers "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!"?
Well, people, I dare ya. MY TOP TEN LIST OF SILLY LITTLE STORIES:
1. Summer finally came. It is hot!
2. My Maryam just turned 3. There were also 3 parties helded for her, one in my grand-mother's house, one in my mother's house and finally one with her own friends in my house! Happy birthday Maryoma habibti.
3. I just read the da Vinci Code. My God! Go take a good look at your nearest Mona Lisa copy.
4. I had a visit from the wonderful world. My cousin (almost little sister) who is a lawyer (det står så i ordboken, E!) came for a visit to my suburbian working-class "hell". I suddenly felt (not suddenly, I have always felt it, but it just suddenly surfaced again) LOST.
5. Speaking of classes... Isn't it getting worse or am I just waking up? Speaking of suburbian hell... Do I hate it or love it? I'm not sure. Muslims in minority (or any other group in minority) will recognize this: Do I want to live in a suburb with many muslim neighbours or in a "nice" area with no muslim neighbours? Well, let's not get into that just now.
6. I had a visit from the wonderful world 2. My father came and as we were walking through my area we agreed that somehow there would not be weeds in the flower beds in a "nice" area, but somehow the flower beds in my suburbian working-class "hell" is full of weeds. Aren't we all paying rent?
7. My father took all the children with him for some days. I repeat: ALL the children. I AM FREE!! I'm about to join them soon for my own "vacation". My grand-parents has a house on the west coast, so photos from the wonderful swedish summer are coming up.
8. Yesterday: Sweden won 1-0 againts Paraguay (in fotball people). I usually love to watch fotball games (if Sweden is involved) but yesterday I couldn't resist the other channel showing the brilliant Fahrenheit 9/11 by brilliant Michael Moore. The way I found out though that there was a GOAL was hearing my neighbours loud shouts of "YEEEEEES!!!" through my open balcony door.
9. I just found a new Gazan
blog.
10. It is almost on the day exactly
ONE YEAR AGO since I entered Gaza.
Now the best part is that... after "coming out" about my marriage problems, things have actually gone from worse to better. Yes. I belive that no marriage is perfect. At some point(s) there have to be some compromises done, what ever the details for each marriage would be. I have been married 8 years now (our anniversary come up within a few weeks just) ALHAMDULILLAH and there has been some difficult times. To sum things up I was starting to feel hopeless because my husband didn't seem to hear me. I was speaking to a wall. May it be the Gazan gene or the male gene, I don't know.
I'm not yet sure what has happened. I'm not naive. There has been no over-night extreme make-over changes, but somehow somewhere he seem to get it (and I have also done some re-thinking). It's not perfect - but it is better.
