Sunday, February 26, 2006

Truth or Dare - Welcome back!

Hi, it's me, Imaan - you know me by now from "Living in Gaza City". Well, blogging from Gaza was a piece of cake. You needed just go out and woops - you had a story to tell. Bring your camera along - even better. The unique meeting of a swedish muslim woman and Gaza (not that I'm the ONLY swedish muslim woman to visit Gaza, but I dare say I'm the only one blogging about it) gave me a good start even at the title.

Now I'm back in my own old shoes. How fun can that be? A lot according to me. I have given a lot of thought to the profile of this NEW blog of mine, and it has raised some very interesting questions that I'm hoping to "debate" with you folks here. Well, the question is not so much what is "fun" or not. That is individual and thanks God you need only click and I'm gone. No, the real question is WHAT can I write about? It is of course MY personal choice to write about whatever I please, but then again... is it really?

As I was thinking about what topics to thouch here and especially in WHAT WAY to touch them, I am really hoping to become MORE honest and MORE personal. But it didn't take me long to realize my limits. Can I (meaning do I want) to speak about my personal problems with my mother (who doesn't even know that this blog exist, and gosh - what if she were to find out??! How fair would it be to her to have written about her on the internet for EVERYONE to read?), and do I want to tell you all about me and my husband's arguments (well, I'm sure ya'll want me to spill that one up, but do I? He DO know this blog exist and is one of my faithfull readers - Hi habibi - Would he mind? Would it get too personal?), can I tell you about what me and my close friends spoke about over a cup of tea last friday (relax friends, I wont... or will I? Could I write about it in a way that no one would understand it's them, perhaps not even themselves? Would that be fair?), can I write BAD things about people I meet and didn't like while knowing that they just got my blog's address (would I dare? And if not, how much truth do I provide?).And speaking about truth, how much am I affected from the people at TOOT who said I can only continue to be on Toot if my new blog continues to be arabcentric - and in all honesty I am sooo proud to be on Toot that I'm simply PLANNING to keep the blog REALLY arabcentric. Never mind the truth. Or?

Can I really blog about my life and my thoughts? Can I really tell you what goes on in my deepest inside not knowing if the cashier in my local supermarket might just happen to read my blog?

Well, we'll see, won't we? Some of the things I know for sure (God willing) will come up here are lessons well learned from Gaza, lessons well learned from a Gazan husband, lessons well learned from three half Gazan small kids, mysteries in the snow, things that seem strange to a person upon returning to Sweden after just living six month in Gaza. Almost NO political stuff, almost always an honest view on things that happen to little me. And sure some blogo-thearapy as we go along.

Even after six difficult months in Gaza (how many times have I said that now in this poor post?!) I'm still Imaan. I have made some personal discoveries, perhaps since my 30th birthday happened during my stay. What a wonderful age, at least for me! It's all about taking control. This is my year of TAKING CONTROL. Love that. I am the one who set my goals and dreams.

The positive aspects of the humans self developes while the individual is exposed to, works through and gets through different experiences of anguish. ROLLO MAY

Oh, I'm gonna be gooood.